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11 April 2010 @ 08:22 pm
[FIC] Mirrored - Nino's POV  
Yep, I wrote it. :)

Title: Mirrored
Fandom: Johnny's Entertainment
Pairing: Ohmiya
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Of course I do not own these guys. Isn't that kind of obvious?
Summary: Ninomiya Kazunari has spent his entire life trapped as the reflection of Ohno Satoshi. He doesn't have much hope for the future, but things start to change once he finds courage enough to speak to Ohno.
Authors Note: This is a sister fic of sorts to my story Mirrored from Ohno's POV which can be found here. You should probably read that one first, just so you know.
It was inspired by a submission for this prompt over at the Ohmiya community by LJ user [info]kami_desu. You can check out the master post for this story here.



Even though I always knew the reason for my misery, I'm sure that I wont ever understand it completely. I'm not entirely sure how I knew, though.

The urban legend is something that I have been aware of for as long as I can remember. It might be that I heard about it when I was very little or that I somehow knew of it without being told about it. That doesn't sound too unlikely, actually. After all, the legend is what happened to me. Maybe that in itself meant that I was aware automatically, or perhaps I heard about it, applied it to my situation and put two and two together. Either is possible. I guess I'll never know for sure why I know what happened to me. However, I am perfectly confident that it sucks to be me.

Anyhow, the legend. The stupid, useless, horrible, fucking legend that I wouldn't speak of ever again unless I had to. It came true on the day I was to be born. My mother, whom I have never met, must have been a bit of a careless idiot. She broke a mirror that day. I don't know how it happened, I just know that if that wasn't the case then nothing in my life makes sense. If that never happened there would be no reason for me to be stuck as a reflection. The legend is the only explanation I have, so I'll just have to accept it as my reality.

Most times when a mirror is broken, it doesn't happen when a pregnant woman is about to give birth. The seven years of bad luck then befalls the person who broke the mirror. It is that persons soul that becomes trapped in the world behind the glass surface, not anyone else's. However, according to urban legend, when a mother-to-be breaks a mirror on the day her child is to be born, the seven years of misfortune befalls her unborn child. It is a cruel fate for someone whose life has yet to begin, but there is not much top be done about it. I know all too well that until hell freezes over, escaping from here is a big no-no. All doors are locked, all paths are closed and it is impossible to get back out through the glass surface.

The urban legend came to be because of the effects this has on the unborn infant. When someone who isn't pregnant is thus cursed, the consequence is endurable for that person. Those people have been born, have started to breathe air and have in general begun their life. That makes them strong enough to be apart from their soul for some time, even for a few years. They will become less passionate for a period of seven years, until their soul is returned to them, but they can still live on as separate entities until they are reunited. An unborn child, however, isn't strong enough to handle the separation. The soul will be trapped as a reflection, but the body of the child will die. The mother will have what looks like a normal miscarriage while the child's soul lives on in another world.

This is what the urban legend is based on. It warns mothers not to break mirrors when they are about to give birth, because if they do their child will not live. If a scientific study of this was to take place the results would be shockingly accurate, but researchers won't waste resources on silly superstitions like that.

I wish I could meet my mother, even though she seems to be quite clumsy. The only thing I'm sure of when it comes to her is that she intended to name me Kazunari. Ninomiya Kazunari, to be specific. I don't know how I know that, which kind of indicates that I somehow knew about the legend without hearing of it, but regardless that's the name I'll go with. I'm kind of relieved that she wasn't hoping for a girl, though. If that would have been the only thing I knew about my mother, it would have been rather awful. Besides, having to try and identify myself with a girls name would have been troublesome.

For as long as I can remember, I have been stuck in the world of mirrors as the reflection of another boy. My body died when the mirror broke, meaning I have no body and therefore it was impossible for me to become trapped as my own reflection. That would happen to people who break a mirror when they aren't bout to give birth, but it couldn't happen to me. Although I'm not entirely sure why I became the reflection of this guy specifically, I suppose that he must have been nearby when the mirror broke. He is a couple of years older than me, so he had already been born when it happened.

This kind of existence is not exactly something I'd recommend. I'm pretty sure that I'd have opted for anything else if I had been offered the choice. I am a lost soul, and even though I have gradually become stronger I still feel very fragile. I remember that in the past, I couldn't eat. Like, at all. There was food reflected sometimes, but I couldn't digest it. I threw up every time I tried. It wasn't until I was about four years old that I could actually eat a meal without getting sick. In retrospect that was probably a good thing, since I wouldn't have been able to feed myself when I had the mentality and shape of an infant. That changed, too. Even though I could feel that there was some vital part of my existence missing, I still aged as a normal kid would have. I got taller, started to think clearer, stuff like that. In that way, I felt like I had a little in common with the boy on the other side of the mirror.

It was around the same time as I could digest food that I begun to pay a little bit more attention to that boy. His name is Ohno Satoshi. He was around seven at the time and even now I remember that I thought he was extremely cute. For some reason, I felt shy around him. That was partially due to the fact that four and seven is a big enough age difference between two kids, but I knew there was more than that to my hesitant behaviour towards him. He could obviously see me in the mirror (although other people seemed unable to) and I was sure that he could hear me as well, but I never tried talking to him. I felt like I definitely shouldn't do so but I wasn't sure why. In my mind I always called him Oh-chan and even though I really wanted to try saying that to him I never did. It was probably because I always felt a sense of guilt as I looked at him, but back then I couldn't give a reason why.

It was shortly after this that I realised it would actually be longer than seven years in total before I would be free. I wasn't sure what would happen to me once this existence ended, but I had gradually come to understand that the seven years referred to were seven years as a reflection. When Oh-chan wasn't around a mirror, it didn't count. Only the time when I was actually watching over him from the other side of the glass surface was added to the total time I had spent as his reflection. Before this realisation I had been counting the days until it'd be over, but when I understood that it didn't work like that it was too late to keep track of how much actual reflection-time was left. I didn't know when I would be free or even what would happen to me then. I tried not to thin about that stuff. It was too scary a future to be acknowledged by me at that time.

When Oh-chan wasn't around a mirror, my world was no longer a mirrored image of his surroundings. During those hours it became a dark, chilly place. There was a floor underneath my feat, but no matter which direction I walked I'd never reach anything. In that dark space I would usually just sit down and wait for it to end, wait for him to come by another mirror so that my world would light up again. To be completely honest, that part of it was fucking horrible, but I didn't feel like I had the right to complain. I still had that inexplicable feeling of guilt that I couldn't overcome. I suppressed my own needs and wishes and kept watching what Oh-chan did instead.

The darkness wasn't so bad except for during the night. During these early years Oh-chan always slept entirely covered by a blanket. My world was complete darkness for hours and hours upon end. I tried to sleep, too, but I couldn't quite relax. It wasn't until several years later that I realised sleeping got easier for me as time went by, just like eating. I was becoming a little bit stronger, but I still felt very weak.

When I was about eight years old Oh-chan got even more interesting. He was eleven by that time and was starting to show some characteristics which really piqued my curiosity. He was shy, a bit clumsy and all in all an extremely awkward kid. However, sometimes when he was alone he would do the most amazing things. In the shower, he would sing. That might not seem so spectacular, but Oh-chan's voice turned out to be amazing. He sang with a strong, clear tone and seemed to have perfect control over it. It was like hearing an angel.

I started to pay more attention to his appearance, too. He had grown from being an extremely cute child to a pretty nice looking kid. I knew even then that I somehow liked the look of his body, but at the time I couldn't make sense of why, exactly. It didn't feel all that important, but it puzzled me a little. His hair was nice, too – it was longish and fell across his eyes sometimes. That was a pity, because his eyes were (and still are) wonderful. A warm tone of brown that seems to shine when the sun shines on them. I felt like I could spend all day just staring into those eyes, but I didn't like it when he caught me looking. I always put on a face when he tried to make eye-contact, a mask that displayed indifference and was a bit mocking. I was trying really hard to look like I didn't care about him despite the fact that he was slowly but surely becoming the only good thing in my life.

He started to draw as well. It was only doodles in the margin at first, but eventually he became more serious about it. He sat in his room, filling out page after page with the most amazing sketches of various things. A cat, trees, his teacher, apples... All wonderful. During one of those times, he managed to shock me completely. I had been sitting on the same chair by his desk as he was sitting on, except in his reflection, watching the picture that he was drawing. It was really neat, being able to look at the picture in the reflection as he continued to draw on it on his side of the mirror. At first I didn't see who it was he was drawing, but once I realised that I froze.

It was a picture of me. Me. I would never have guessed that unless it had been for the mole on the chin of the boy in the picture. I knew I had one on my chin since I could feel it, and even though it was on the wrong side of the picture in the reflected image it made me realise that it had to be me he was drawing. Up until this point I hadn't known much about my own apperance. I had of course seen my legs, arms and body countless times, but I wasn't too sure about what my face looked like. I was Oh-chan's reflection; I had no reflection of myself to examine. When Oh-chan drew that picture he gave me the chance to see what my face looked like.

He had drawn me using soft lines, focusing a lot on my hair and my eyes. I found myself reaching up and touching my eyebrows to see if they were as short and thick as he had drawn them. It seems he had gotten them right. I was pretty sure that my hair was a little more voluminous that day than he had drawn it, but it framed my face quite nicely in the picture. He had made my expression surprisingly gentle. That was a face I had been taking great care not to show him if I could avoid it, but apparently he still knew exactly what it looked like.

My favourite part was when he started to colour it. He made my hair dark brown just like I knew it was, but when that was done he paused for several minutes, staring at the pencils. Then he opened a drawer and took out another set of colours. He picked out all the brown ones and lined them up in front of him, looking them over. Then he nodded to himself, reached out for one of them and continued to colour the picture. I looked down at it and saw that he had started to work on my eyes.

He had picked out a warm, slightly dark shade of brown. After seeing him go through all the colours so carefully I could have no doubt whatsoever that this was the exact colour of my eyes. I found myself staring at it, my mouth slightly open. I had known the colour of my hair before, but this was the first time I looked at the colour of my eyes. I was almost in shock and entirely unable to hide it as Oh-chan glanced at me through the mirror. He was smiling; apparently he was enjoying this. I still refused to meet his eyes.

That night, I ended up laying awake, thinking. I could sleep pretty well at this point in time, but this night was different. I was finally starting to realise where this feeling of guilt I had always had came from. Oh-chan shouldn't have to put up with me being here all the time. Because of my existence, he was different from other people. I wondered what he thought about it and what possible explanations he might have thought up. Surely he must wonder why he didn't get to be normal, like everyone else. After watching him try to be nice to me like that I felt more guilty than ever. He didn't deserve to feel like a freak and it was all because of me. By being his reflection, I was making things so hard for him. I didn't deserve his kindness.

When morning came, I had decided. I would try my best to be as normal a reflection as I could to Oh-chan. From that day onward, I worked harder on staying silent. I also started to copy his movements as he walked about the rooms. At first he seemed to find this a bit funny, but after a while he just got used to it. That suited me perfectly. Being like this, I could cause him as little trouble as possible.

Doing that meant that I had to watch every step he took, every movement he made. In short, I became even more focused on him. That lead to some unpleasant discoveries. Constantly watching him like this meant that I realised how many important things he had in his life. is friends in school, his mother, his idols on TV – they took his focus away from me. I quickly discovered that I didn't like that one bit. Sure, he tried to interact with me sometimes (although I stubbornly tried to ignore it), but I was obviously not at the top of his priorities. That disappointed me, yet I was also mad at myself for feeling disappointment. I ended up working even harder on being his reflection, on staying silent, on making him feel as normal as possible. I had no idea if it was working, but at least I felt a bit better about myself.

A couple of years later he entered the entertainment world. If I had thought that he had a lot of distractions before, it became even worse now. I was torn between feeling proud of how far his talent was getting him and jealous of how much attention he gave to this new, exciting environment. Ultimately, my feelings of pride won and I cheered him on in my heart. Additionally, I was relieved to see him remain the same, slightly awkward guy that I had known for so long now. He didn't try to change himself to please anyone. In the end, he didn't have to. That made me really happy. In my opinion, Oh-chan should always remain Oh-chan.

When he started attending dance lessons meant a whole lot of work for me as well. I tried my best to do the same choreographies they did and was actually able to keep up most of the time. It was even a little fun. An added bonus was that Oh-chan was constantly in front of mirrors. I got to see so much of him from then on. As we both grew older and became teens, I realised that I really liked watching his body move like that. It was almost addictive and I had to sternly remind myself to keep dancing sometimes. Another interesting thing was that when I made a mistake, Oh-chan would automatically stop and restart so that we both could learn it properly. This didn't make me feel so good about myself since I was a burden to him again, but I still ended up enjoying those moments. The fact that he reacted to something I had done was strangely alluring. I actually started to mess up on purpose just to see him stop and start over for my sake. It was like a guilty pleasure, the only one I allowed myself.

I had become much older, yet my time as a reflection wasn't over yet. Oh-chan had grown, to. He had started to sleep with a lamp lit up, and that made me really happy. That meant that I could go to sleep in the reflection of his bed and it was neither dark nor chilly. Some nights he would lie awake and just stare at the ceiling. I wanted to know what he was thinking but of course I was way too stubborn to ask. I still had yet to speak to him, although I would feel the urge to do so a lot more often than before. He would look troubled during these nights, though, and I found myself not wanting to leave him alone even though I never made contact. I'd end up staying awake, sitting on his bed pretending to read a book or something. Eventually, he would fall asleep. The following day we'd both be exhausted, yet we would always try our best together at practice.

During some, rare nights, when Oh-chan actually started crying, I automatically dropped whatever I was holding and walked over to the mirror. I still didn't speak although I was yearning to ask him what was wrong, to comfort him. I could usually guess since I would know what was going on in his life. Once he had fought with his mother, another time he had messed up a performance pretty badly and gotten yelled at. Knowing these things, I didn't ask him what the matter was. Instead I leant against the wall, looking at the floor. I couldn't bring myself to look at him, but I still tried to be there for him. I felt so useless. What I really wanted to do was go over there and hold him. Put my arms around him, run them through his hair, tell him that everything was going to be all right. I couldn't. The fact that I was only able to stand there, not even looking at him, that fucking hurt. I wanted to support him, but I was always unable to. It was agony, not being able to be there for him when he needed someone.

Around that time I suppose I should have started to question whether or not I was in love with him, but before I could phrase the question I knew what the answer would be. It was obvious to me that I cared about him more than anything else. I knew I thought he was perfect. He was caring, sexy, honest and altogether amazing. Trying to ask myself the question was unnecessary when I was so sure of my feelings, anyway. Things had become that way for me gradually, and once I realised what had happened I kind of just accepted it. There wasn't much I could do about it, anyway. Regardless of my feelings we were separated.

I wasn't thrilled when he got his first girlfriend, but it felt even worse when he suddenly got dumped. At that time, my jealousy subsided and I sympathized with him fully. The fact that the girl immediately hooked up with another Johnny's Junior didn't exactly help, either. She was a bitch.

One thing happened during our teenage years which I will never forget. It was late at night and Oh-chan was sitting in his room, doing something on his computer. I wasn't paying too much attention to him since I was reading, so I didn't see what kind of site he was checking out. I noticed him glancing in my direction hesitantly before clicking something, but I didn't think much about it. That is, until I heard a moan coming from his speakers. He quickly turned down the volume, staring at the screen.

I think I froze in place once I realised what he was doing. It took a couple of moments before I could bring myself and look up at the mirrored computer screen. When I did, I had a hard time discerning the mix of bodies on the screen at first. It was pretty clear that they were moving, though, and Oh-chan was staring at the screen with a strange look on his face. His right hand had disappeared somewhere under the table.

I think I might have been able to look away, politely think of something else and wait for him to... Well, to finish, unless I had happened to realise that the people who were moving on that screen were actually both male. Once I figured that out, I couldn't seem to avert my eyes. Oh-chan's expression was somehow beautiful, eyes half closed, mouth slightly open. I wasn't sure if I was comfortable to be watching such a scene, but that expression made me think that I'd like to be the one who made him look like that sometime. I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable about the way my own pants had suddenly become a bit too tight, but there was no way in hell that I was going to take care of that at such a time.

Oh-chan didn't look at me at all for the rest of that night. He quickly turned off his computer, changed clothes and went to bed. That night he pulled the covers up above his head again, but for once I could take the darkness pretty well. I felt like he deserved some privacy after what had taken place.

Once Oh-chan got to debut, I was really proud. This meant that he got more opportunities to do the kind of work he was passionate about. Plus, it meant a whole lot of more dance practice which I enjoyed, too. During the first few years that followed, I felt myself become even stronger. My senses were sharper, my endurance longer. I was starting to feel like I was becoming ready, but I couldn't quite define what I was becoming ready for.

The day I finally, finally spoke to him for the first time I hadn't really intended to do so. Oh-chan was rehearsing a solo number which he had choreographed himself. I had been trying and failing to keep up with him, and this time my mistakes weren't on purpose. It was really difficult. I had given up for now and was watching him dance instead. He was so focused as he went through the steps, somehow exerting perfect control over his movements. There is something about him at moments like this, about his body, about his deliberate movements, that makes him look undeniably sexy. Not that he isn't beautiful at other times, but when he dances he becomes even more appealing. I can't get enough of it.

Suddenly, I got the urge to say so. Usually, I could suppress this wish somehow, but that day was different. I was awed by Oh-chan's performance and I had been feeling stronger than usually for a while, too. This combination somehow spurred my confidence and I even started to feel like it was my duty to say something. Oh-chan was working so hard all alone and he was doing so well. When someone is that good, someone else should tell them. In this case, someone else would be me. I felt that should tell him.

I was confident that “do you know that you look really sexy?” wouldn't exactly break the ice, so when I finally opened my mouth I settled for something less obvious.

“Are you a machine?”

His head snapped upwards, glancing around him. Then he looked at me, a curious expression on his face. I found that I didn't like how hard it seemed to be for him to believe that it was I who had spoken. I felt like he was underestimating me. I also felt incredibly nervous. A part of me couldn't believe that I had actually spoken. Somehow, I took courage from the feeling of how special a moment this was turning out to be. It was now or never that I would have a conversation with him, and as I had gotten this far I sure wasn't going to settle for never.

He took a step towards the mirror, still having a doubtful look on his face. I did the same, standing directly in front of him. I had already grown impatient. Now that I had made contact, I didn't like standing around waiting for his reply. Which he ought to make soon, if you ask me, but he didn't look like he was in a hurry. Determined not to let this go to waste, I tried again.

“Are you a machine?”

I spoke slower this time, not looking away from him. His eyes widened in a comical way as he realised that it actually was me who had spoken. I was getting even more annoyed, but I kept my expression as blank as I could and continued to look straight at him. That idiot still wasn't speaking.

His lack of response was starting to really piss me off. I felt like I had made a pretty big effort so far. Didn't I deserve something in return? Changing tactic, I decided to try body language instead. I raised my left hand and put it against the cold surface that always kept us apart. It was nothing more than a simple gesture but I did it slowly, deliberately. I was kind of hoping that he'd copy my movement, putting our hands together.

He didn't. Instead, he took another glance around the room. Then, all of a sudden, he turned around on the spot and practically ran in the opposite direction. I let my hand fall to my side, disappointed. It wasn't until he turned the music off that I realised why he had crossed room (or that the music had still been on, for that matter). It didn't particularly matter to me why he had turned around, though. I just felt disappointed that he had moved away from me.

He looked up from the record player, catching my eyes again. He had a thoughtful expression on his face, like he was actually trying to come up with something to say. I froze in place, staring at him silently. I'm not sure if I was breathing during that final moment of waiting.

“You talk” he stated, still looking at me.

I wanted to scream. Like I needed to be told that. This was all he could come up with? It felt like the anticlimax of the century. Then again, Oh-chan had never been a very articulate guy.

Even though I was exploding on the inside I seemed unable to display any kind of strong reaction in my nervous state. All my aggressive feelings turned into nothing more than a soft chuckle.

“So it seems” I replied dryly.

I could see that he noticed my hesitation before I continued.

“Is that a problem?” I asked carefully.

My heart was beating wildly as he contemplated that. Please, please say no. I don't want to stop talking to you ever now that I have started. Please.

My mouth didn't cooperate very well with my thoughts.

“I can be quiet if you want me to” I found myself saying. “Silence has worked out well enough for me so far.”

I felt my hands shaking a little as I spoke, but my smile was believable enough to support the lie.
“You don't need to” he said, shaking his head.

Yes! Yes, yes, yes!

“You took me by surprise, though” he continued, oblivious of my happiness. “This is the first time that you have talked to me.”

So that was why he had been so hesitant in replying. I guess I must have shocked him a little. Shrugging it off, I refocused on what I had been trying to say.

“You still haven't answered my question” I said. “Are you a machine?”

“Of course not” he said, looking thoroughly confused. “Didn't you know that?”

“Just checking. Your movements are amazing, though” I started to explain. “They can be so exact, so very disciplined. I could never dance like that.”

I wasn't sure if he understood how much I meant what I said, but he looked like he appreciated it. He also looked a little embarrassed.

“Well, thank you” he mumbled, not looking at me.

He looked quite adorable as he examined the floor for a few moments, gathering up his thoughts. He shot me a quick glance, deliberated some more and then looked up to face me, obviously ready to speak.

“I am Ohno Satoshi” he said.

In my defence, I tried very hard not to laugh at that statement. It was so cute that he actually thought I wouldn't know his name. I had spent my entire life as his reflection, watching him. How could I not know his name? I'm pretty sure that I displayed enough amusement for him to notice, though.

“I know” I replied, shaking my head at him. “Jeez, who do you take me for?”

Somehow, he looked more secure after I had said that. Then his expression changed again.

“What is your name, then?” he asked.

That question took me completely by surprise. I hadn't at all expected him to want to know things about me.

“Do reflections have names?” I asked him, avoiding the question for now.

He didn't like that reply one bit.

“How should I know” he said, annoyed. “Do you?”

I hesitated before replying, but I knew that it wasn't in my power to conceal anything he wanted to know from him. I was his reflection, after all, and on top of that I wanted to do anything that could possibly please him.

“Ninomiya Kazunari” I said.

“Ninomiya” he repeated slowly.

I think my expression turned into some kind of goofy, relaxed grin when he said that. I could definitely get used to my name on his lips.

“Ninomiya” he repeated, to my great joy. “Ninomiya Kazunari.”

All of a sudden, the door opened. It was Oh-chan's dance instructor.

”Hi, Ohno-kun” he said as he stepped inside the room.

He obviously didn't realise that he had just interrupted something very important. I was glaring at him, but of course he didn't see me. I didn't particularly like the way Oh-chan immediately turn away from me to talk to the guy.

“Yeah, I was just finishing up” he said.

“OK. Just don't overdo it.”

“Right.”

He left. I followed him with my eyes as he walked out of the room. I had never disliked him before, but now I definitely did.

“I have to go” Oh-chan said to me, regaining my attention.

I didn't even have to speak to make him realise how stupid a comment that was.

“Right, and you're coming too” he said, nodding. “As long as there's a mirror. I kind of forgot.”

I just smiled, shaking my head at him. His confused expression from a moment ago had been really cute.

From that day, I completely gave up on staying silent. I still tried to follow his movements most of the time, but he seemed to really enjoy conversation. If that was something I could do for him, then of course I would. Besides, talking to him was more addictive than watching him had ever been. I am pretty sure that I wouldn't have been able to stop myself any more even if I had tried to. Although he started conversations as often as I did, I still felt like I sometimes made things unnecessarily hard for him. I would end up teasing and mocking him sometimes when I was tired and didn't feel like acting nice to please him. I couldn't stop myself. I was afraid that would hurt him eventually and I hoped that he somehow understood how much I cared about him.

During this time, I could feel myself growing stronger than ever before. I don't know how to put it except that I felt like I was becoming increasingly human. I felt like there was more substance to me, like I had gone up in weight or something. It was a good feeling, though.

I had thought that my occasional bad attitude towards Oh-chan would remain my main concern, but as time went by another difficulty surfaced. I could see that there was something he wanted to say to me, but he never did. He was holding it in and my curiosity to know what it was distracted me from our other conversations. It was always present under the surface of whichever topic we tried, that thing he couldn't talk to me about.

After a while, it wasn't only him who wasn't speaking of something important. I had realised that I wanted to tell him properly how I felt about him, but I was sure that I would gain nothing from doing that. It didn't matter what my feelings were, we were separated by the mirror and that was the end to it. Even so, we were still stuck with each other and I didn't want everything to turn awkward because of some stupid confession. It was fine the way it had been up until now.

It might have continued to be fine, but it got worse. Neither of us spoke our minds and after a while conversation was not only awkward, it was unpleasant. We spoke less and less, almost going back to the way we had been before I had first talked to him. He had obviously started to avoid mirrors whenever he could and he turned out to be surprisingly skilled in doing so. Darkness surrounded me more often than not, except for when he was at dance practice of course. I endured it relatively easily but I didn't like what was going on with us.

At was another late evening and Oh-chan was still practising. The solo number he had been able to do perfectly a while ago had become difficult for him now. I had completely stopped dancing along with him whatever he danced since we had stopped talking, so I wasn't doing it with him this night either. Instead, I had sat down in a corner of the room. I wasn't sure why I didn't do it any more. I guess I was starting to get sick of being nothing more than his reflection. I couldn't make myself try hard to make him feel normal at this point. I had grown more selfish, but I didn't really care. I just wanted to be closer to him.

When he turned off the music to take a break, I was surprised. He usually didn't stop until he had gotten at least some part of it right, but tonight he had failed quite miserably throughout the whole thing. Glancing at him, I saw how tired he looked. His face was worn out. Had he lost weight?

I sighed, feeling myself give in. I had to speak to him.

“Hey” I said.

I was nervous, although not as nervous as the first time I had spoken to him. He looked up, meeting my eyes.

“Is something wrong?” I asked.

I didn't like how tender my voice sounded when I said that. I knew how much I cared about him, but it was a little embarrassing to show it like that.

“I mean, we haven't spoken in a while” I continued, leaving out all the complicated reasons and feelings. “You OK?”

He sighed and sat down on the floor on his side of the mirror.

“Yeah” he replied, but he wasn't looking at me.

We were both silent for a moment. I didn't like how he was avoiding my gaze.

“Was it something I did?” I asked, edging a bit closer to the topic we couldn't speak of.

He finally looked at me, then, but he didn't speak. I turned around to face him directly, thinking through what I was about to say.

“It feels like you've been avoiding me lately” I said. “Are you sure everything is OK?”

It was a stupid question. I knew very well that a lot of things were wrong. He looked kind of surprised, but he didn't look away.

“I don't know how to put it” he said.

At least he didn't keep saying that everything was fine.

“If I did, I'd have asked you already” he added.

My heart skipped a beat at that. We were getting closer, much closer. We had to talk about this.

“Asked me what?”

“I'm not sure.”

I found myself smiling. He was looking confused again. Cute. I got up from the floor and approached the mirror.

“Just ask me.”

He rose from the floor, too, but he still looked hesitant.

“I don't know what it is I should ask” he repeated.

“Are you sure?” I said.

I found myself leaning forward towards the glass. I raised my left hand and let it rest on the surface, just like I had done the first time we spoke to each other.

“Are you absolutely certain that you don't know?” I asked, looking straight at him.

He approached me, then, but he still didn't seem to know how to answer. Instead of speaking he lifted his right hand and moved it towards my left one.

I barely had time to notice that his hand actually touched mine before he jumped backwards, retreating. I had been startled, too, and I'm pretty sure it showed on my face. I was trying to recall if we had ever tried doing that before, but I couldn't remember that we had. After all, I had always kept my distance. That was all different now. My heart was beating frantically. I had touched him.

Oh-chan stepped forward again, reaching out his hand. He looked curious and somehow amused. I copied his movement, but I was really nervous. The same thing reoccurred. I held my hand still while he let his fingers brush over it carefully. The sensation of him touching me was amazing. I stood there with what must have been an awed expression. It made him smile, though, so I didn't see the need to be embarrassed. Instead, I moved my hand gently against his fingers.

He answered by pushing our hands towards me. His fingers went through the glass surface completely and I didn't waste any time in taking a soft hold of them. I pulled his hand a bit further, trying not to move too fast. It didn't look like it hurt him to through the glass. I had no idea what was going on, but I didn't particularly care as he took a deep breath, closed his eyes and took a determined step forward.

I automatically stepped backwards to give him some room on my side of the mirror, not letting go of his hand. I was shocked. All logical thoughts about how this was possible or what the hell was going on had disappeared out of my head. The only things in the world that mattered were Oh-chan's smile and the way his left hand was suddenly moving towards me.

He slowly ran it through my hair before sliding his fingers down across my cheek and finally letting them rest beneath my chin, holding it. His intention was clear and I found myself closing my eyes, waiting. When I felt his lips on mine I thought I was going to explode. They were soft, warm and pressing gently against mine. His hand disappeared from my chin and made it's way to the back of my neck, running through my hair. I moved my lips carefully against his, placing them around his lower lip. He seemed to like that; his arms suddenly wrapped around me as he tilted his head, getting better access. I vaguely noticed that I was leaning some of my weight on him, but he held me steadily.

When we broke apart, it was mostly because we were both in need of air. He took a step forward, tightening his grip. I could feel his breath on my neck. This slightly possessive side was something I hadn't really seen before, but I definitely didn't mind. I put my arms around his waist, letting them rest on his lower back. We stood like that for a long while, just breathing. It was nice, but I was starting to think back on what had just happened. I needed to take a look around the room, to try and figure this out. I removed my hands from his back and pushed him away from me, but I tried to do so softly. He reluctantly let go, but he still held my hand when we parted. That made me smile.

I had intended to take a look at our surroundings, but I ended up looking at him instead. He, on the other hand, was glancing around the room and then turned to examine the mirror.

“Nice view” he said, referring to the empty room on the other side.

I chuckled. He then turned around and walked towards the door on this side of the mirror. I found myself practically dragged after him, but I didn't really mind. He could drag me anywhere he wanted to. He tried opening it, but it was locked.

“I didn't lock the door” he said, sounding confused.

“All doors are locked on this side of the mirror” I said, trying not to sound like that was a problem. “I'm a reflection, remember? I can't just disappear out of view.”

Apparently, I hadn't managed to make it sound like I was OK with being trapped behind the glass. He squeezed my hand gently. Then he looked at the mirror again.

“You are my reflection, right?” he said, his possessive side showing again. “I think I should have some kind of say in this.”

All of a sudden I was dragged after him again. He was approaching the mirror, but he didn't stop once he reached it. Instead, he stepped back through it. Once he had gone he pulled me after him, but when my hand reached the glass there was some kind of resistance. It didn't hurt, I just couldn't get through. I tried pushing, but it didn't work. I was just about to tell him so when he started to pull. When he did that, I actually moved forward a little bit. He kept pulling and eventually the resistance disappeared. We both stumbled forward a bit clumsily.

I immediately took a look behind me at the mirror, not sure what was going on. Then I looked at Oh-chan.

“What made you think that was possible?” I asked, slightly bewildered.

He looked confused.

“Why should it have been impossible?” he said.

I briefly considered telling him everything I knew about the urban legend, but that didn't feel necessary. Somehow, I felt like that part of my life was over now. Something had changed. The air felt different, it smelled different. I was very tired, but I also felt strong. Like I could do it. Like I could live in this world from now on.

“I don't know” I said, trying to assemble my thoughts. “It just doesn't seem natural.”

Once I had said that I realised that it was natural. The seven years must be up. This was it. I was free. Not only that, but I was free right here next to Oh-chan. Holding his hand. The concept was mind-boggling.

“Do you mind coming here?” Oh-chan asked.

I couldn't phrase my answer with everything that was going through my head, but I managed to shake my head at him. We were both silent for a moment after that. I didn't know what to say and even if I'd known that I wouldn't have known how to say it. Oh-chan solved my dilemma for me by speaking first.

“This is my world” he said. “Please stay.”

I smiled. It was true that Ohno Satoshi had never been a very articulate guy, but he definitely knew when to keep it simple.

“I'd like to” I said. “If I'm not a bother.”

He looked at me, evidently surprised.

“I have never thought of you like that” he said.

I liked hearing that, of course, but I knew it couldn't be entirely true.

“I was, though” I insisted, a bit uncomfortable. “Other people have their own reflection looking back at them. You were kind of stuck with me.”

“Yes, it was amazing” he said, taking me completely by surprise. “You were always there for me when I couldn't bear to be left alone. Don't you know how much you mean to me?”

He looked embarrassed. I had never even dreamt that he would tell me such a thing. I could see that he was serious. A huge smile made it's way across my face as I looked at him. This was almost too good to be true.

“I felt like I was a burden to you” I found myself saying, suddenly in need to explain. “Like you'd rather be normal. You never paid attention to me whenever anyone else was in the room.”

I was rambling slightly, but that bubbly sensation of happiness was still in every fibre of my body so I didn't really care. Oh-chan seemed to take what I had said rather seriously, though.

“I took you for granted, I guess” he said. “You had no way of not being there. I knew that you'd always have time for me later.”

“I didn't even talk to you back then, though” I reminded him.

“We still hung out, didn't we?”

“I guess so.”

During the short silence that followed, Oh-chan realised something. He turned towards the mirror, eyeing it suspiciously.

“I wonder how it looks to other people, now” he said. “You are not there.”

I took a look at the mirror. That was when I realised it.

“I can see your reflection” I told him. “Looks normal. What is weird here is my reflection. Look, it's right there!“

It was strange, seeing myself reflected in that glass surface. I had grown since Oh-chan drew that picture of me, but the similarity was striking. I could look into my own eyes and recognize the colour from that time. A warm, slightly dark shade of brown. I amused myself for a while by waving at the mirror and watching myself wave back. It was unreal.

Once I stopped playing with my reflection, there was a short silence again. It was kind of awkward. I knew I wanted to say something more, something about here on after. By now I had realised that there were things he liked about me, but we both had yet to get to the point of this conversation. I didn't know how to start. Thankfully, Oh-chan figured out what to say.

“Please be mine” he said, looking directly at me.

I smiled. He was adorable.

“Ohno, I am your reflection” reminded him, my voice tender. “I have always felt that I belong to you. That will never change.”

It was true. Every effort I had ever made had been for him. He was my everything. He looked really happy at my words.

I ended up waiting for him to continue the conversation after that. I didn't know what we ought to do next. I would, of course, need his help with a lot of things. It was basically up to him to decide what we should start with. When he caught my eyes again, I looked at him expectantly.

He surprised me by simply letting go of my hand. He then reached out for my right hand instead of my left one.

“Just remember that I belong to you, too” he said. He lifted our hands up as he spoke, placing my right hand on his left arm. “This is yours. And this.” He slid my hand down along his arm. It was kind of strange but I knew I didn't mind. He let go of my hand with his right hand and wrapped his left one around it instead. Then he suddenly pulled me forward, surprising me completely by placing my hand on his butt. “And this” he said, not breaking eye-contact and making me feel a bit embarrassed. I still definitely didn't mind, though. He brought my hand forward again, taking hold of it with both of his and moved it upwards to place it on his cheek. Still looking directly at me, he made contact between my fingers and his lips.

I was slowly beginning to understand what he was trying to say. At that moment, it wasn't him kissing my fingers. It was my fingers touching his lips. The difference was striking. He was offering them to me, letting me claim them as mine. My own. He truly meant what he said when he stated that he belonged to me. He was still looking straight at me, not hesitating for one moment.

“I'm yours, Ninomiya Kazunari” he continued, a serious look on his face. “Don't ever forget that.”

I felt slightly dizzy. It was too much. I didn't deserve him, not at all. He wasn't giving me much of a choice, though. For some strange reason he wanted me and no one else. We felt the same. I was finally beginning to believe that, although I don't think that I will ever completely understand it. The sensation, however, was wonderful.

He wasn't done, though. He removed our hands from his face, still holding onto mine.

“Make demands” he said, still looking very serious. “Set up conditions. Be selfish with me. Don't act nice all the time to please me. You are not going to loose me just because you try to be yourself. There is no way I'd let you go now that I have you here. You are all that I am ever going to want. We both have rights, but no matter how much you feel like you belong to me our rights are still equal. We have to give and take, to compromise. Don't be afraid to tell me what you think, no matter what it is.”

I felt like I had stopped thinking once he finished. Thankfully, I was still breathing. In fact I was unexpectedly calm. His words had put me in shock again. So much had happened, but I was finally able to focus on one thing - I was perfectly assured of how he felt about me now. I considered saying something to him in return, but I ended up taking a step forward and hugging him instead.

Once he was in my arms, one of my hands running through his hair and the other holding him tightly, it all became too much. I was pretty sure that he noticed sooner or later that I was crying. I didn't really care. He let me stand like that for a long time, waiting patiently until I was ready to speak.

“Oh-chan?” I said, calling his attention.

“Yeah?”

Since I was still holding him I couldn't see his reaction to the nickname, but I wasn't worried. He was mine, after all.

“I'm hungry.”

I was. Really hungry. I hadn't even thought about that before. Regardless of what we needed to do next, I needed food.

“Let's go some place to eat, then” he replied.

I let go of him, although I didn't really want to. It was OK, 'though. There would be other times to hold him. Before we left, he took hold of my shoulders and leaned in, placing soft kisses all over my wet face. I would have let him but it was slightly ticklish, so I ended up pushing him away, laughing. He didn't seem to mind. Instead, he took my hand again. When we started walking towards the door, I wasn't being dragged after him.

We were approaching it together.



EDIT: I have gotten some work done on the two part sequel now! First part is up, right here. It's called "Loving you". :)
 
 
 
Even diamonds can be shattered with the truthjamasunda on April 11th, 2010 07:45 pm (UTC)
two-part sequel and a side story...... I APPROVE ♥

I love this story D: it's so pretty and everything ugh <3
auburn_witchauburn_witch on April 11th, 2010 08:51 pm (UTC)
:) Glad you liked it, thank you for reading!
(Anonymous) on April 11th, 2010 08:17 pm (UTC)
Thank you. This is a really a beautiful series. I would look forward to a sequel as well.
auburn_witchauburn_witch on April 11th, 2010 08:52 pm (UTC)
:) Thank you for reading!
☆Simple is best☆  cam: ohmiyacamaronzin on April 11th, 2010 08:38 pm (UTC)

Pretty freaking amazing, I'm meming both now they're complete huhuhu~ 8D


And yes pretty, please a sequel would be fantastic! I'm really loving this universe a whole lot :)


I will wait for your next updates. ^^

auburn_witch: Kazunari - calendar picauburn_witch on April 11th, 2010 08:54 pm (UTC)
:) Awesome, thank you for reading!
Nijikami_desu on April 11th, 2010 09:03 pm (UTC)
awwwwwwww~
I really really like this story *________________*
its just pure love!
Now I am really curious how Nino will react to all the things he does not know so far and how he will handle it all, it cant be easy to live all your live as a reflection and than suddenly go out there and live... xD

I am just a bit to tired to understand what exactly you have planed to do in future as a continuation of this story xD but I approve anyway <3
auburn_witchauburn_witch on April 11th, 2010 11:24 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you still like it! ^^ I'm curious about what will happen, too. Sequel will be fun to write, I think. :)
potatoospotatoos on April 11th, 2010 09:09 pm (UTC)
:):) Thanks. Super sweet.
auburn_witch: Sho - calendar picauburn_witch on April 11th, 2010 11:24 pm (UTC)
Thank you for reading! ^^
babyrubysoho: ohmiyababyrubysoho on April 11th, 2010 11:49 pm (UTC)
This was fantastic, as good as the first one! A sequel would be super :)
auburn_witchauburn_witch on April 12th, 2010 07:18 am (UTC)
:) I'm glad you liked it!
momokan69momokan69 on April 12th, 2010 04:39 am (UTC)
Oh, my,, I love it,,
Want to know moreeee,,,!!
You're going to write the sequel??
I'm going to wait for it!! (>v<)
Thanks for sharing!!
auburn_witchauburn_witch on April 12th, 2010 07:19 am (UTC)
:) Thank you for reading!
yunafanyunafan on April 12th, 2010 10:02 am (UTC)
lovely story!! =D
can't wait for sequel and side story ^^
auburn_witchauburn_witch on April 12th, 2010 10:26 am (UTC)
Actually, I'm starting to think I can't wait either... ;) I'm so glad you liked it, thank you for reading!
(Deleted comment)
auburn_witchauburn_witch on April 12th, 2010 11:49 am (UTC)
It was a lot of fun writing the Nino POV, actually. :) Thanks for reading!
jamiestewart88jamiestewart88 on April 12th, 2010 05:37 pm (UTC)
2 part sequel?? Side story!?!?! Absolutely welcomed XD XD
You wrote Nino's part of this story so very amazingly well <3333333333
in fact, beyond amazing that I read it like 5 times already, no joke XD

I am really really looking foward to the sequel of this!!!

Thank you~ <33333
auburn_witch: Kazunari - calendar picauburn_witch on April 12th, 2010 07:10 pm (UTC)
Woah, five times? Seriously?!
I would say that I'am flattered, but it's more like I am honoured, or something. XD Thank you for spending so much time on this, I will definitely write the sequel! Hope you enjoy that as well once I get it up. ^^
rio sora: looking at the picrio_sora on April 12th, 2010 08:28 pm (UTC)
i approved all things u want to come out with ^^
yay~love it very much!
thanks for sharing^^
<3
auburn_witchauburn_witch on April 12th, 2010 09:35 pm (UTC)
:) Thank you for reading?
momoikurabumoimoikurabu on April 12th, 2010 11:16 pm (UTC)
It's beautiful... I really, really REALLY like this one :)
auburn_witchauburn_witch on April 13th, 2010 01:28 pm (UTC)
:) Thank you for reading!
李泰民 ☼: pic#98894291taeminnie on April 13th, 2010 04:51 am (UTC)
this story from nino's pov was beautiful!
it was so well written and just pure love! it was exactly like i hoped it be!
i remember reading mirrored from ohno's pov and hoping for something like this!
it was truly amazing!
i love your writing:D
a sequel sounds magnificant actually!
two-parts sounds even better! im all for the idea..unless writing a sequeal meant it not being a happy ending... in which case im happy with this:)
kyaa! im getting excited already! i am looking forward to the sequel but no rush, im already addicted i can wait(maybe..)!
auburn_witch: Kazunari - calendar picauburn_witch on April 13th, 2010 01:31 pm (UTC)
Happy ending, huh. Hm. Well, I don't think everything would be all that simple for the two of them from here on, although their relationship wouldn't be a complete disaster, either. We'll see.
I'm definitely doing the sequel, though! It is practically writing itself inside my head already. :)
Thank you for reading!
hiilovetomahiilovetoma on April 14th, 2010 02:37 pm (UTC)
OMG this is amazing!!!
auburn_witch: Kazunari - calendar picauburn_witch on April 14th, 2010 05:19 pm (UTC)
:) Thank you!
zazasukiezazasukie on April 15th, 2010 07:20 am (UTC)
The sequel is amazing! I love Nino's POV ^^b
auburn_witch: Kazunari - calendar picauburn_witch on April 15th, 2010 11:15 am (UTC)
:) I loved writing it! Thank you for reading!